You have finally found the perfect partner – or so it seems anyway. Your love life is amazing, but lately, an alarm bell has been going off in your head that something doesn’t feel quite right when it comes to sex. Is your partner simply having an affair or does the problem run deeper than that? Most people think that an addiction to sex is just about loving sex and being unable to control the need to have sex constantly. But in reality, sexually compulsive behaviour usually stems from a deep-rooted negative patterns of anxiety and depression, where the sex addict’s first impulse to cover up any pain or feelings of emptiness and distress are through sex.
If your partner exhibits any of these tell-tale signs, you might be dating a sex addict:
- There is an unhealthy amount of pornography that he indulges in, especially in private on his phone or computer, and gets nervous when you ask to take a look.
- The difference between a sex addict and someone who has a very high sex drive is usually in the way that he behaves as a lover. Is he concerned and attentive to your needs or is it all about just pleasuring himself? Most importantly, he always needs to be in control and be dominating in bed.
- Many sex addicts develop a preference for masturbation and will still masturbate even after sex.
- It is rare to find a sex addict who is shy around women or socially awkward – they are usually extremely confident social individual, perhaps even slightly aggressive at times and constantly flirting.
- Over time, your sexual interactions with your partner may change as you feel you are being pushed outside of your comfort zone. He may become more demanding or less tender while being intimate, forcing you to do something you may not be comfortable with. Worst still, he may become very aggressive if you say no to sex completely.
- His general behaviour starts becoming more irritable and secretive. For example, there may be unexplained absences, late night phone calls and even the preference to be alone rather than together with you or socially with friends.
- You may experience a total lack of connection and intimacy, and feel that your partner is trying to avoid you. When he is there, he may seem tuned out or distracted and may start requiring more stimulation to get things going.
- He lies about a lot of things most of the times, but when cornered, manipulates the situation to make you feel like the guilty party.
- He starts becoming overly obsessed with his member, constantly touching it, adjusting his pants or even exposing himself without warning.
- He may be having an affair – or several on the side, to deal with his sexual compulsivity.