How is helicopter parenting hindering or supporting your child? We asked Priyanka Elhence to explore the pros and the cons
Every parent wants the best for their children, but there is a fine line between showing concern for your child and asserting too much control all the time. A helicopter parent, also known as a cosseting parent or bulldoze parenting, is a parent who pays extremely close attention to his or her child’s experiences and problems – hovering over like a helicopter and helping out at the first signs of trouble. It has also been referred to as over-parenting by sceptics.
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While such parenting usually shows up a lot in primary school, some parents are still tending to ‘look after’ their children intensively even when they are at university, according to a Chronicle of Higher Education report in Psychology Today.
If you are a helicopter parent then you choose to be involved in your child’s life in a way that is in excess of responsible parenting. It can be regarded as over-controlling or over-protecting, in an attempt to make everything perfect.
And, according to the Huffington Post, if your kid calls you before they make a decision but resents you for your help and support then it’s pretty definite you have been a helicopter parent at some point during their upbringing!
So, is it all bad? Here are the pros and cons of helicopter parenting to help you decide if being an over-zealous parent will actually help or hinder your child in the long run:
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- Children and parents bond better and become better friends.
- Parents always know what is going on in their children’s life without the child feeling that the parent is interfering or being pushy.
- Children can learn from parents and their mistakes more effectively, since the parents are constantly hovering over them, giving them advice at every step.
- The world has become more competitive and some parents feel that the only way their child can excel is by pushing them and packing as much different activity into their days as possible, rather than letting them be children and indulge in simple free play.
- You can count on the children of helicopter parents to arrive on time, to have their homework done, and to be prepared for their activities.
- Children cannot be safer in today’s dangerous society, since a parent will always know where the child is and with who.
- Children grow up to be less independent and overly-sheltered adults, not being able to make their own decisions independently, always needing approval from their parents.
- Severely affects self-confidence in children, to the point where they are scared of having to face situations alone.
- Children aren’t given the opportunity to learn from their own mistakes, so lack the vital problem-solving skills needed for life.
- Children may grow up with a sense of entitlement to things like taking for granted that they will always be surrounded by people who love and care about them.
- Children actually end up living their parents’ dreams and ambitions, and not their own.
- At some point, the child may feel angst towards his parents for ‘controlling’ him, and start rebelling against his parents, especially as he sees his peers growing up with normal parenting.
- Children are limited by what their parents feel are their maximum abilities and capabilities, not letting the children try for themselves.
Do you agree or disagree with helicopter parenting? Tell us what you think in the comments below.
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Written for Parents World by Priyanka Elhence. Priyanka is a busy mom of 9 yr old twin boys. She writes on anything from lifestyle and dining to parenting and celebrity profiles.